I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize