You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
