dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize