I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
