okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
