Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
PANTIES FOUND
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