That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
