chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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