I cockslap morals
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
