Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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