I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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