We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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