I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
