nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When are your genitals available?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
