Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
