I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Two words: nipple clamps
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