nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
