I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
