Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
