Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
