If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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