i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
