Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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