Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
