Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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