So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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