he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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