? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
