Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
