Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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