Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
