my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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