she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
