oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
