I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
