I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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