this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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