you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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