I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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