OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
from now on my penis is your penis
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
