I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
