I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
