The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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