it hurts more in the daytime
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
His nipple licking is glorious
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