so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
