In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
