white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
do nipples grow back?
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