Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
