I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize