absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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