2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the day after is always just damage control
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
