she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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