I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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