Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My ATM looks so different sober.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
