The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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