I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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