i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Text me some of your sweat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
