K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
