I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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