is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
