no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
