Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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