real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
