Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Me too!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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