is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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