Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize