Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
