I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
