Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
