he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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