there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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