I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We are all done wearing pants today
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize