that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Randomize